So I’ve obviously grown rather lax in posting every day. I know, this has disappointed many. I’ve been trying to figure out why I have been so unmotivated. Is it that the weather has improved and I no longer want to sit in my little cave of an office, clicking away on the computer? Is it that I finish everyday exhausted, thus only enabling me to write snarky posts like my last one? (By the way, if you are a student who happens to read my blog regularly, then you are not one of the whiners. I’d do anything for you guys. I’m talking about the ones that drive you crazy, too.) Is it that I can no longer find things to make me smile now that Kathie Lee Gifford has taken over and ruined the Today Show for me?
I’m going to venture a guess and say it’s none of these things. These are all harsh realities, to be sure, but I think at last I’ve figured it out. It hit me one day when Joel came over for dinner after work, I can’t remember when. We were standing in the kitchen, and he wrapped his arms around me, looked me dead in the eye, and asked:
“How was your day?”
Weirdest part: I think he really wanted to know.
This happens nearly every day in some form or another. Sometimes I jump in before he has a chance to ask, but inevitably, before the day is done, I have an actual person who wants to hear about all the things that made me smile…and made me angry, sad, giddy, grumpy, elated, etc, many of which are things that I could never blog about for the outside world.
This has never happened before. I’ve never felt so listened to, aside from a counselor that I payto listen to me for an hour a week. And I recognize what a feat it is to have someone sit through what sometimes ends up being a 10-minute monologue on how wonderful it is that they’ve had chicken salad in Gwinn for three days in a row, because it means that I can make a chicken salad sandwich, which isn’t that good for me but after you’ve been eating in college cafeterias for a decade you have to cling to the small things…I know I’m a talker, and I respect what strength it takes for someone to let me chatter and act halfway interested in whatever tiny thing has taken over my brain in the moment.
But again, so strange: he’s all the way interested.
So I think that’s why I’ve cut back, and rather than let my obsessive-compulsive tendencies take over and make me feel like I must post everyday, or at least fake it with the titles, I’ve decided to go somewhat more topical. I think that would be more fun for all of us, right? And don’t worry, I’ve already got a list. I just don’t want to waste them all now on one uber-post.
Plus, I have to go make a phone call. Someone wants to know how my day was.